Friday, March 28, 2008

Fifty Things That George Must Be Blamed For

...And the winner of our "Blame George While He's Out Of Town" contest is Wicked Juan!

~~~

Something going wrong in your life? Slow day at work? Just need to pass some blame to someone most deserving? Here's Fifty Things That George Must Be Blamed For

1) Late books
2) Redneck Canadians
3) The lack of a stellar Presidential candidate for decades
4) A disheartening lack of free comics
5) Spider-Man: The Clone Saga
6) The Southwest
7) Ring around the collar
8) Assassination of the spoken English language
9) The disappearance of Evil George... we liked the one with the goatee
10) Global warming
11) The Ben Affleck/Jimmy Kimmel affair
12) "Magic Night" has a completely different meaning than the name would imply
13) Didn't memorize every single comic on every single person's lists before they all got blown away, thus showing a startling lack of commitment to his craft
14) The death of Jean Grey
15) And subsequent resurrection(s)
16) High gas prices
17) Sticking the Sonic the Hedgehog comic in box 69
18) Rigged presidential elections
19) Keeping the shop so darn clean
20) For being a Jedi and not telling anyone... we had to find out on our own via the use of subterfuge and candy
21) Itching… painful itching
22) The economic recession
23) For making Superboy cry
24) Interpretive dance of Patrick Swayze's "She's Like the Wind" on my last visit to the Comic Stop
25) Justice League of America: The Tornado's Path
26) Replacing my freeze-dried coffee with tasty Folger's crystals
27) Spider-Man: One More Day
28) Lack of "Bwah-ha-ha" in modern DC Comics
29) Hawkeye: WTF is this "Ronin" crap?
30) Bendis' inability to write characters that sound separate and distinct from one another in group books
31) Lack of speech bubbles on comic book covers
32) Odin's Beard!
33) This being the last season of Battlestar Galactica
34) Al Qaeda
35) Canada's continued dominance in international hockey
36) Not allowing Brian to put the fixtures on the ceiling, as John originally suggested
37) False accusations of loitering
38) No special factory dealer incentives at Comic Stop… where are my $1000 cash back shopping bonuses?
39) Jersey Girl
40) Lack of productivity at work (I'm writing this at work)
41) Static electricity
42) Power Girl's ginormous… abilities
43) Killed off Blue Beetle, Hawkeye and Captain America… just to spite me
44) Added me to his Xbox Live friends list and then never showed up to play
45) Making Jenny cry during Fantastic Four 2
46) Whenever the interwebs doesn't work, it's because George broke it (again)
47) Neo-conservatives
48) I'm not allowed to sit on the couch
49) The sudden and inexplicable disappearance of the Legion of Super Pets. I long for the adventures of Beppo the Super Monkey!
50) My sudden, yet inevitable ban from The Comic Stop

6 comments:

Elwood said...

I blame George for the fact that so many people use their blogs as a place to post long lists instead of substantive posts worthy of discussion.

That and the break-up of the Beatles.

Ferretnick said...

If George is to blame for Power Girl's ginormous... abilities, then I'll forgive him of that one.

Wicked Juan said...

Wow. I didn't realize that blaming George for things was in any way a competition. I just normally do this a normal part of my day.

And to think there is no blog dedicated to blaming George for things.

I'm just saying is all...

I'll stop by the store to receive my Lifetime Ban sometime this weekend.

Your pal,
Wicked Juan

BTW my shoe is untied. And we all know who is at fault.

Wicked Juan said...

In my excitement over finally winning something I had no idea I could win, I forgot to mention that Jenny shares blame for creating the list. So she should win too.

Ferretnick said...

So you're BOTH banned from the store then?

Elwood said...

Looks that way. Congratulations, Juan!